I have 50/50 joint child custody with the mother of my two oldest children, my two beautiful daughters. I divorced my ex wife in November 2017. We have what is known to people familiar with shared custody arrangements as the 5 -2-2-5 split. I have 5 days with my girls, she has two days I have two days and she has five days and so it goes on and off, back and forth. I assume that at some point this arrangement will become weekly, either by court order or through agreement. Until then we follow the plan.
I have just begun to realize how secure and happy I feel when my kids are all together under our roof. How good it feels tucking my girls in to bed at night. How soundly I sleep when they are at my house. My personal purpose is slightly diminished when they are not with us. It is extremely wonderful to have them at my side, under my care, direction and guidance. I value that time to the highest.
I am so blessed by my children and my wife they have made me a better man. My wife Savanah recently went back to work from maternity leave, My first son was born on April 6th, 2019. He is a treasure, I think about his future and am so excited to be apart of his life. If you have read my work before you know that since October, 2018 I have struggled to maintain quality employment that meets our families needs. A series of recent events have also created more challenges for our family. As ridiculous as this sounds, these challenges have also brought us closer together.
As true as it is for my home, I imagine that this is true for all homes. Human beings are classically described as having three parts, Body, Mind, Soul. We can exercise our body and care for it with diet. We can provide for the growth of our mind with a healthy diversity of ideas. How do we care for the soul? Thankfully, in my home we are finally seeking real answers to this question and it is making all the difference.
I have begun to listen to an audio book, a nonfiction piece written by a Canadian whom I was introduced to through a podcast I listen to – Discover the Word, her name is Ann Voskamp and the Title of her book is: The Broken Way. Listening to her words play throughout my home has been very enjoyable. It has been a blessing. So as my family and I seek to satisfy our souls, we have found some great resources to assist us along the way. The Broken Way audio book is surely one, Discover the Word podcast is another, and finally we have begun to attend church. This part is growing on me. The christian life described in The Broken Way is far from the reality of the patrons at this church and far from the model of this church. But, I have to remember GRACE.
Coincidentally I stumbled upon another resource that has driven my search for a real life changing encounter and continual development of my families relationship with the Lord to a hopeful place, despite my criticisms of our local “church”. An organization called Appleseed Ministry and a founding member’s spiritual work described in his blog the Simple Church Journal. In it he describes a church that is lost, awash in cultural relativism, bent on business like commercial growth, recruitment and spiritually devoid. His solution, which I have yet to fully explore is: Simple/House Church Revolution. I downloaded the free guide to this concept and can see that many resources still need my attention to fully understand it. But as my wife can tell you, the fact that church has a start and end time on Sunday is a problem to me. The strife caused just to arrive on time is so unnecessary, I digress. The concept of real Koinonia doesn’t actually happen at all at the church we have been visiting for the past two weeks. In fact it appears that that might be why so many people attend.
Our search for unity, fulfillment and an abundant life has not been wasted, and I am proud to say this. Amid the challenges, amid the pains and strife, amid hopelessness awaits deep, lasting, communion between the members of our house, from the 12 week old on up! I am confident, and excited to continue on this path with my wife and kids as we seek the favor of God. As we develop our own household counter culture that pleases the Lord, devoting ourselves to following Christ.
14 “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”Joshua 24:14-15